Right. I've already said that i know that i am wasting my time here but sod it, once more for those at the back...
As Bridget has yet again ( predictably) seen fit to quote me uncharitably and out of context: as I have already answered her questions before and yet she has seen fit to censor my answer - I shall explain it once more for you people to satisfy your morbid curiosity.
1. July 7th: Bomb goes off behind me, choking black smoke, carriage dark. Explosion so loud it is not possible to tell position of bomb as total sensory deprivation ( too dark to see, ears deafened by blast). It is not possible at this stage to know where bomb was. We are plunged into total darkness and breathing thick smoke and those still alive and able to leave, leave the carriage. Those who look back as the smoke clears and the emergency light comes on see indescribable scenes. But at this stage, I do not know if the corpses and dying I see are in every single carriage or just my own: because I do not know how big the bomb was. For all I know, everyone else on the train is dead bar the people right next to me. For all I know, Kings Cross Station has been bombed and levelled. I get off the train.
2. July 8th: News reports bomb is where I was standing and also the number of casualties. I am relieved that not every single person on the rest of the train is dead. Disturbed by the report that the bomb was by the 1st set of doors where I was, I call the police to report this is wrong. At the time they are still recovering bodies. I worry they may be entering via the end of the train when it would be much easier to recover bodies by front of carriage one, which is still structurally ok, as we escaped from it. This is all quite clearly on my original account BTW
3. Weekend: police come round and take statement. I show them where I think the bomb was in a diagram. I now know it was on car 1 from the news, and thinking about it, the flash, the loudness of the blast are congruent. I give the statement for several hours, sign it and then ask/ 'Was I right about the bomb?'Afterwards they confirm my diagram is correct and tell me I am 'a bloody lucky girl'. I am in deep shock. I continue to my blog, I want to tell people that the bomb was not where they thought it was: I think if any of the survivors are like me and realise that it was wrong they will start to feel that they are losing a grip on reality> It is bad enough that the bomb was in our carriage but to have it where you were standing!...it NEEDS to be made right, it feels horrific. I feel very strongly about this. I type up my account. I make a typo mistake: I type ''yards'' instead of ''feet''. I wish it had been yards, but it was feet.
4. I remain upset about the BBC diagram with the bomb in the wrong place, especially as I am by now blogging for the BBC ( for free) and my blog account contradicts their diagram. I ask the UK editing team to change it. They confirm with the police who say that yes, it is in the wrong place and the early reports were wrong. The diagram is duly changed, I am pleased because it is very distressing to see the bomb placed where you were when you know that it was not there.Later, other survivors bnear me tell me how wierd they felt when they saw it in the wrong place on the diagrams in the news. And by the way, this is an example of how the news can get details wrong, and nothing is sinister about it - it is corrected as more facts come out. Why don't you read some books on news journalism?
No police procedures were broken during my statement -taking process, don't be so paranoid. After the interview, the police confirmed that my diagram was correct: they have done this for other survivors AFTER the interview has been completed and the statement signed.
I am not an M15 professional or a COINTELPRO or a shall or any of the other offensive insinuations you lot like to smear me with.
I have also explained , several times, about the S. Times piece where I explained that the PHYSICAL re-experiencing of the trauma I REPEAT PHYSICAL RE-EXPERIENCING OF THE TRAUMA - THE SMELL OF THE SMOKE THE BANG etc was triggered by watching a TV programme.
Like a soldier watching a war movie who hears the bang and automatically throws himself to the floor, who physically smells explosives or dead bodies when he is only watching a war movie.PHYSICAL RE-EXPERIENCING. You go back there.
Different to memory. Totally different.
It is PTSD symptoms.
Can you grasp that? Can you try and have some basic human empathy? Can you at least try, instead of rushing to your usual overblown conclusions?
Thank you
Finally, I am aware that memories can be influenced by later events, but I would like you to know why i am aware of this. I was raped & left for dead in 2002, as you know from Rachel's Story to which you refer. The trial at the Central Crown Court in January 2004 required me to reprise the memories that I had spoken of and reviewed many times since the attack. I was spot -on: my original statement and my cross examination exactly matched. He went down for 12 years, sentenced to 15 in total
Some things you remember, clearly, for the rest of your life. The experience of being raped and being bombed come into that category. Being almost-murdered, coming close to death. Please think about that. I lived, many others died. It will always be with me.
Finally, I have some questions for you people. I would like to ask you all
1. whether you accept that there is such a thing as Muslim fundementalism in this UK ( yes/no)
2. and the existence of terror cells in the UK? (yes/no)
3. That there is such a thing as young men inspired to bring atrocity attacks to the UK in revenge for the attacks on the umma in Afghanistan, Chechyna, Iraq etc? (yes/no)
4. That there is a theology-lite/action-heavy jihadist philosophy that is entirely different to the more common barelwi Islam in the UK and that some young men are drawn to it, and some go much further into a political jihadi extremist mindset. (yes/no)
5. Do you accept that groups such as this exist? Yes or no?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/n ... 670007.stm
Because if you cannot accept this basic fact then I know for absolute certain how once more,I wasting my time with you people. I was fed up with the usual spiel and selective misquoting and acting as if I had not already covered the point s some of you raise several times already so what the hell, I've popped in once more. But you might do me the courtesy of replying to my question...
Please can you tell me if you believe what you see in the Al-Muhajiroun
Newsnight report of 2004? Do you accept that extremist cells exist? That UK youths are members of them?
(And BTW I don't want a load of accusations thrown back about me being racist: it is not racist to look at the facts of existing extremist groups. The fact that I correspond with Muslims ( see Hassan on my blog) , post on Muslim talkboards, that I attended the Muslim anti-islamophobia rally etc, that there are Muslim survivors in the KCU group should answer that charge before it is even levied.
.